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30 Mar 2003

From deep withing the injured being
From deep within the darkest most unseen corner, I lurk and observe, nurturing myself until I feel ok, to peek out from where I grovel with the hope of lifting myself above the miserable cold and damp - souless - world I call home to my mind. I get out and find that which I so seek to whole myself again, to once more be that which has died so bitter long ago.

Love is found and so begins a brand new episode, which inevetably end as all those have ended before. The closeness I need, I had once or twice or three times it matters not - were all stolen or borrowed and not real. My real life consists of fake bits of pretencious crap - when will come my time for true? Every time it seems that I disilussion myself into beleiving that I have found the love I need. Someone once told me : "Those that need anothers love to be whole, needs to love themselves a whole lot more". I cannot do that, I'ts like I need the love and acceptance of others to start the process of loving myself? Are people born to go it alone? Am I alone in feeling this way?

The saddest part is I'm only 24.

Answer 325 views

01 Jan 0001

Dear BigP,
You're certainlynot alone either in feeling like this, or in having felt like this. But what you depict in your words is the psychological state of a deep depression, something which can be helped, if you will allow this to happen. You'd need to see a shrink, for an assessment and advice as to the best treatment for you.
If you have thrice before found something like the loving you seek, and it has proven to be unreal in those instances, this is far from inevitable ; but it suggests that some counselling, in the course of working on your depression, could help, to identify how things went wrong before. That way, we can avoid repeating our mistakes, and at least make new mistakes. Even failing in new ways, may be part of the road to success.
Get the help you need and deserve --- things don't have to feel this way.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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