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15 Mar 2003

Gay Straight Or All the above?
Put it to you this way, I need help. I find guys actractive but i also find some girls actractive but i have only had a sexual interaction with a guy b 4 and never with a girl, so what wrong with me? /i also find myself staring at guys and not as much as girls. I'm also very homefobic. Is it also because of sociaty that i dont want to see what i am or am i just confused. i dont know. My biggest issue is that i want children so i cant be gay. or can i? I'm very confused and very young. Am i going threw a fase or what? as you can see i'm very confused and dont know what's gonna make me happy. So please give me some advice or somebody have been threw this, please share your point of view. Lost.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Why should we suppose that there is something wrong with you ? I suppose it'd be rather uncomfortable to be a homophobic gay. You mention being young, without saying quite how young --- a period of some confusion or uncertainty about one's sexual orientation is pretty common, from the young teen years, sometimes into the 20's.
You like guys, and some girls. When you say "very homophobic", is this about fiercely rejecting the idea that you might be gay ( one always has doubts about the true sexuality of virulently homophobic guys ) ? Or are you perhaps absorbing some of society's anti-gay sentiments, and wanting to avoid being stereotyped or discriminated against, as gay --- in other words, I wonder whether you are rejecting gay people, gay sexuality, or just fearful of society's attitudes towards gays ?
That you feel you want children doesn't really clarify the matter, as numerous gays want and like children, in the most normal and wholesome sense, and many gays get married ( not always hapilly ) and have children. And many straights don't like or want childen.
Fortunately, there's really not much need to make a final, irrevocable and firm decision at this stage --- it's not like joining the army. Keep to the usual sensible guidelines about all sexuality ( ie safer sex, and caution about relationships without thoughtfulness ) ; and take your time to sort out who you are and how you want to be. Counselling might help if this is seriously troubling you ; or you may be able to sort it out on your own, in time.
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