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13 Jul 2010

Getting back with an ex.
Is it wise to get back with an ex-boyfriend? My ex-boyfriend, who is also the father of my 4yr old has come back into my life after a 3yr breakup. Many factors played a part in our breakup  I think I was obsessed with him and not trusting. We eventually ended our 3 year relationship because he cheated on me.
We have been in contact over the past years for the sake of our child but nothing happened in terms of a relationship. Now he has come back into my life and I think we both grew up over the past years and now realise what is important. However, I always have doubt in my mind that he may cheat on me again and therefore cannot completely commit to him. We haven’ t really raised this issue because he believes that things have happened in the past and we should forget it and move on. My little girl is very happy because she is now spending time with both her parents but I feel that I have been a good parent and would be wrong for me to only take her feelings into consideration.
The big question is should I go into this with caution or should I give up now based on how I was hurt in the past? Your advice will be appreciated.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Your concerns are natural and sensible, and while his wish that you both pretend that no such thing happened is understandable and convenient, it isn't wise. COuples counselling would be a good idea - such concerns have to be addressed and worked through rather than ignored, if one wants to avoid a repetition of the originating problems.
We do all tend to grow up, but not always in every area in which that would be desirable. And of course it's so much easier to claim than to actually achieve.
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