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Question
05 Aug 2011
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Getting Lonely
Just need to take this out of my chest, i am alone, and have been alone for a year now. i was married to a scumbag for 9 years, been together for 6, it didnt work out, i divorced him, stayed for months before i meet someone, i meet a wonderful guy, or i thought he was wonderful, i would say he was because for the shorter period spent together, he treated me like a queen, but the relationship didnt work, we just didnt communicate anymore, even though he will call me whenever he wanted to talk, but there was no relationship.
Got into another one with a guy who was 4 years younger than me, who will come to my house eat, sleep, wake up bath and basically there was nothing that i was benefiting out of the relationship, but he did, because he was at my house most of the time, we never went out, unless if i suggest we go out, etc. I looke at the relationship and realised i am wasting my time, the relationship is not going anywhere, that was after i asked him where are we going, he told me he is not ready for a committed relationship, and i said, well nna i need a serious relationship because i am not getting any younger, we ended things.
Now i am so lonely and miserable without him even though i know i wont go back to him, because we clearly were not meant to be, i am miserably lonely and i need someone, but i dont need men who depend on women, i need a real macho man, where can i meet them? i dont go to places a lot, my life revolves around work, home, or going to friend''s places, if anyone can tell me where to meet real good men who are not out there to abuse women or to play games with them, i will be happy.
Got into another one with a guy who was 4 years younger than me, who will come to my house eat, sleep, wake up bath and basically there was nothing that i was benefiting out of the relationship, but he did, because he was at my house most of the time, we never went out, unless if i suggest we go out, etc. I looke at the relationship and realised i am wasting my time, the relationship is not going anywhere, that was after i asked him where are we going, he told me he is not ready for a committed relationship, and i said, well nna i need a serious relationship because i am not getting any younger, we ended things.
Now i am so lonely and miserable without him even though i know i wont go back to him, because we clearly were not meant to be, i am miserably lonely and i need someone, but i dont need men who depend on women, i need a real macho man, where can i meet them? i dont go to places a lot, my life revolves around work, home, or going to friend''s places, if anyone can tell me where to meet real good men who are not out there to abuse women or to play games with them, i will be happy.
CyberShrink
Often when you rush into a new relationship before fully recovering from a previous and painful one, you may be less cautious than you need to be, and may find that you're repeating the errors made before.
This last example sounds illustrative, you found a guiy who exploited your neediness, and found for himself an arrangement that suited him perfectly, that gave him all the advantages of a committed relationship ( from your side ) with none of the committment or attention to your needs and wants, on his.
Good men, and good women, are all around, and I don't think they gather at any particular place nor are they available for hire ! One simply needs to keep looking !
This last example sounds illustrative, you found a guiy who exploited your neediness, and found for himself an arrangement that suited him perfectly, that gave him all the advantages of a committed relationship ( from your side ) with none of the committment or attention to your needs and wants, on his.
Good men, and good women, are all around, and I don't think they gather at any particular place nor are they available for hire ! One simply needs to keep looking !
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