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Question

04 Feb 2009

getting more adventurous
Hi!
Any ideas how I can encourage my guy to be more adventurous sexually?
He' s very reluctant to try anything new, like me dressing up (not in leather, mind you, but even me wearing pretty underwear), or telling me what he likes and wants, and what feels good.
He' s very conservative, doesn' t even talk or express himself during sex  but I' m a wild child and want to try new things.
How do I encourage him or introduce new things?
Answer 411 views
Expert
Sexologist
sexy

01 Jan 0001

Dear Cally,

You need to firstly accept the fact that you and your boyfriend are different in your sexual attitudes and that it is going to require some adapting on both your parts to work towards acheiving a sexual relationship that works for you both.

I would suggest honest and open communication of your sexual relationship. It is not ideal to have the discussion during a sexual encounter. It is best to have the discussion in a non sexual situation. Where you both get to discuss and express your sexual needs and wants and negotiate what you both are possibly comfortable to try. This will help you determine whether there is potential for growth in your sexual relationship or whether you have a significant situation of sexual incompatibility.

A couples sex therapist could also be helpful in assisting you as a couple.
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