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05 Feb 2009

Getting over a breakup
Dear CS and Other readers

Why is it that it is so hard at times to just get over a breakup even though you know that it' s for the good and you are better off!! Is it that people or let me say I am just a sucker for punishment, could it be the ideal of having a relationship that keeps me hanging on. What on earth could it be? What is the possibility of a person just not being able to handle certain things in life without help or am I just straight DUMB or messed up. I find myself going through so many emotions and with one question echoing in my mind, WHY?? WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN?

DO I need therapy or WHAT ELSE CAN I DO? I know that I am so worth everything and deserve so much more but then why am i torturing myself so much. I even think that in the end its not about him anymore then what is it about? There' s a lot more that has hapnd in my life not sure if that is what' s affecting me so much and making me rather dwell on the breakup then dealing with it.

I' ve always thought of myself as being a level headed person, who would analyse scenarios and find solutions or atleast try and find it. But these days all that happens is that my heart aches and aches.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Its like getting over a death or any other major loss --- there's a big difference between your intellectual knowing that it's over, and your emotional responses to that --- protect, anger, denial, sadness, searching, whatever. And the WHY question is one you return to several times, as you work through all this. Respect your emotions, but don't act on them --- going back to a hopeless failed relationship does not make you feel better, only worse. Counselling can sometime help if you're spinning your wheels in your own efforts.
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