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27 Jan 2008

good for goose..good for gander
What woukd you do if you found out your spouse cheated on you? Betrayed you for a whole year...and still asks you to stay and help work out the problems? Yes, I love him but am so insecure right now. I feel like giving him a taste of his own medicine. I told him this and he went ballistic! I reckon i will beat him at his own game. I will have a casual relationship with a nother man, let him know about it...then tell him to F+3%k off!.

Now that makes me feel a WHOLE lot better!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

I would feel angry, disappointed, but I would never think of responding by doing what she did --- that would be sinking to the same level and being no better than her. Revenge like that seems in fantasu likely to be very sweet indeed. In practice it does NOT work. If you want to potentially continue with the marriage ( if he reforms ) then take him up on that suggestion of working on the problems ( but only with proper formal marriage counselling ) --- as it has been his suggestion, it would be hard for him to back out when the process got uncomfortable for him. Otherwise you'd be giving up on the marriage, and then simply see a lawyer and plan a simple divorce ( again, without plans for terrible revenge, which so often misfire ). I suggest not trying for revenge, not because I feel he should be spared unpleasantness, having so hurt you, but because it is more likely to keep the hurt and bitterness going, and delay your task of getting through and beyond this, and seeking your own happiness.
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