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23 Nov 2005

gratitude
today is the first day in a while that i have woken up and felt free. it feels like a cloud has been lifted off me. i had a dream last night about my ex but it was like he didnt feature very big in the dream he was not the centre of it - and it wasn't a nightmare. they were on the periphery and i was letting people from teh past - people i had cut off because of these things - back into my life. i woke up feeling that at last i had let go of the past.
there were so many reasons leading to this point and being bipolar two i know that i will have up and down days (it's just that now i know the down days wont last forever). one of the huge heliping factors in this journey that i am still on has been this forum. my first post was on how to forgive my ex. it was the first time i had publicly spoken about it and it has been a struggle but the relief i felt after posting and all the replies of support i got, well it was the start. i havent always posted under fin/ex. there were times i posted re new toy boy problems or about rehab, psycho units and hospitals or boyfriends where i have used different names because i somehow felt they were part of anothe fin/ex. biut i think i am fully integrated now ; )
CS you have been so encouraging every time i have posted for advice and you have made so much sense. No matter how big and how dark the cloud was over my head i couldnt help but smile after your comments - i somhow felt that i would be ok.cs thank you for taking all these hours out of your day to be here for us. i am not sure if you quite realise how big it is. so many others have also helped with kind words, sometimes firm ones, but always wise ones. and even dude on the times he has responded to posts when i have felt very blue has brought a giggle to me. so to you dearest CS and to all you guys and gals on this site. thank you thank you
have a bril day and speak to you all again tonight when i am back home
bye from a sunny bright beautiful cape town
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Welcome to freedom, fin/ex--- you richly deserve it ! And I'm so pleased you received the right message, as indeed I am confident that you WILL be OK.
Odd, isn't it, we've had some bad and irritable days on the forum, and days like this with much good news. let's try to steer away from all the irritability
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