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27 Oct 2006

had enough!
bf is a very irresponsible person who for some reason manages to get himself into unnecessary financial burdens. what gets to me if the his assumption is that his gf should be there to bail him out and be supportive of his self inflicted financial messes. his decision making is also very quetionable. we'had a fight last week regarding this, and promises of change and control were made.

now this week i find out the his stop orders for our child school fees failed and she is 3months in arrears, and the medical aid is not working when we have a sickly child. the child stays with my parents and this means the burden is on them. i try to keep my side of the bargain when it comes to the child maitenance, but i find myself having to sometimes carry his side aswell for the sake of my parents. he moved in with me, and i have to carry all the household expenses whilst he is busy with his own business that seems to be taking forever to take off.

im now very distant towards him and the mood is very tense at home.i am tired of saying the same thing over and over again.. i then get accused of being moody, selfish and not supportive. i really dont know what to say to him. do i confront him or just let him be?? i get tired of being confrontational, only to deal with the same shi*t over and over again.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You should make it extremely clear to him that his money problems are avoidable, self-inflicted and HIS responsibility to clear up, and never yours. I think his own business is probably simply an excuse to continue sponging off of you and doing very little actual work --- he needs a steady job that earns steady money, not dreams of what he might but won't achieve. He mustn't complain that you're not supportive --- you should NOt support someone who behaves the way he does. You seem to have worked well to deal with the difficultuies you have faced in your life, but I don't understand why you need him around, as he sounds like simply a dead loss
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