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30 Nov 2012

Hate my dad
I have been feeling really guilty becaus lately I feel a lot of resentment towards my dad but he died 18 years ago when I was 16!
Whenever somebody talks about their dad I really have strong feelings of hate towards him even though he past away such a long time ago.
I remeber that he was really concerned about our family image and what people thought of us and I didn''t like them about him.My mom was always over weight and he used to give her a lot of grieve about it - sometimes in a very insensitive and cruel way.He was also not good at managing our family finances (even though he was an accounted!) which caused a lot of flights between him and my mom but is this enough for me to feel this way?He was very popular and their was hundreds of people at his funeral but I can''t even remember being that sad.I
I don''t think having these feelings is normal or good for me but I dont have control over it and feel really bad about it and its llike keeping a dark secret.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Feeling guilty in this sort of situation is not appropriate ( you dont deserve to feel guilty for feeling angry towards your dad, thousands of kids do ) but above all guilt long after the event is not USEFUL.
From the sound of it, he probably meant well, but then many horrible things have been done, among individuals or historically speaking, by people who meant well. And it sounds as though he was indeed insensitive, and cruel. People who may be really horrible at home, may be nice to other people and liked in the communicty, mainly among people who didn't know them well.
It would be a very good idea for you to see a good psychologist for counselling to work through all these worries, as there is no value and much unnecessary pain in continuing to brood and feel bad about whatever happened in the past. Free yourself from that burden, and become free to move on to a happier future.
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