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24 Apr 2006

He hates my daughter
My Eldest daughter is very difficult and can drive a person up the wall. This is not my husband's child. She is stubborn, does not listen, always wants to follow her own head and she is only 11.
I have tried so many things with her. Forms of punishments, but nothing works. She still carries on. She also always bullies her brother and sister. Lies, are foorever sctratching in my things & then waist it (like perfume). She really is dificult. But she is my daughter and I love her. I can imagine it is difficult to like such a child when it is not yours. Sunday morning, I said to my husband it shows that he does not like her. He said to me " I hate her"

That just broke my heart. I can't even look at my husband now. This is my child, not someone I picked up from the street. I don't know what to do. we have not spoken to each other at all since yesterday.

What is the point of trying to have a functional family if people inside the family hate each other?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Punishment rarely works. I keep recommending that readers find a way to watch the excellent BBC world Tv series on DSTV channel 40, which deal so well with problem children --- currently, at 8 on Fridays, there is the Supernanny series. Maybe your daugher has, for whatever reason, been acting hatefully towards your husband, and getting the response that is undersandable, though sad. COnsider consulting a child psychologist for assessment of the child, and advice in setting up a system of time out and penalties for misbehaviour, sombined with rewards and good attention for good behaviour. It works
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