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01 Apr 2003

He is driving me nuts
This guy was after me for 4 months until I decided to go out with him.we went out for 3 months. The relationship was affected by the jealousy attitude of my friends, who says to be in love with me, as they were friends they friendship was affected too because they started arguing often. it wasn't only my friend's attitude that affected our relationship, but this guy's attitude as well, he though I was quite popular with the opposite sex( I have a lot guy friends) and this was a problem between us. so, we stoped talking for a month until one day that we met againg. he said he wanted to be with me, but that he just couldn't, the next time we met he says he was talking to a girl (I was debastated, but I wished good luck to him). since then I didn't call him at all. Two months went by, went we met again, he was with his girlfriend so I pretend I didn't see him. later he complains because I don't say hi. now we start talking again( he is still with his girlfriend) and his attitude with me is sweeter than before. now he even ask how my classes are going, how i been, what are my plans for the weekend question that he didn' t even ask before.I still love him, but I don't know what is that he wants. I try to not talk to him but then he comes and ask if I am mad at him.I even deleted his e-mail from my buddy list, so that I am not able to know if his is online, its really hard for me to ignore him, but for now is the best I can do. he even asked me once if the guy he sees me talking to is my boyfriend. what do you think he wants form me?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Eva,
You sound rather young, if I may say so, and perhaps not very experienced at relationships, yet. I wonder whether you're actually in love with him, as love includes being able to set the other person free to lead their own lives. In one's earlier years of relating to others, especially, one can become too concerned with exclusivity, with controlling the other --- and with expecting a former partner, even after you've parted, to somehow sit at home each night pining for you. let him go, and set yourself free. There are other men out there, some of whom will probably suit you far better.
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