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19 Feb 2013

He lied to me
Dear Cs

Is it the first time he lied or the first time he was caught?

We have been together for many years and he is always where he says he is - so i thought. We both come from very bad marriages where we where cheated on. We got engaged in December after 7 years together and now I have caught him lying about where he was.

I just feel that I cannot continue with this engagement. He says it was not his intention to lie. I gave him his ring back and said I''m going to move out.

What next ? His penis just happened to fall into another vagina and that was not his intention too?

I don''t trust him anymore. What else has he lied about?

How can i stay with such a person?

Help me please
Answer 267 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hard to tell, isn't it ? In any case, and especially when you have both lived through experiences which led you to being more than usually sensitive to and suspicious of, possible cheating.
How important is this specific incident which has so upset you ? Most men would be bothered by having to account for their every movement, and would not be inclined to reveal every monet's whereabouts, even if they had nothing to hide. What sort of lie was it ? Did he say he was in Checkers when in fact he was in Spar ? Or did he say he was in church when he was really and certainly engaging in an exotic orgy ?
From your later comments, it sounds as though in some way you became certain he had a sexual affair with someone else. Then the conundum is indeed that though onew can never ever be certain someone else isn't lying, after one major and proven lie, its not possible to simply start trusting again. Trust has to be earned, rather than given, especially not to someone who has proved themself untrustworthy
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