Ask an expert
Question

12 Mar 2004

HELP
I lost a boyfriend when i was 13 (not sure if u can be in-love at that age) he died in a car accident. Now im 25 married and have a son of 3. I cant stop missing my decrease boyfriend i think of him all the time and i miss him terribly.... I feel i need to go visit his grave but dont want to hurt my hubby... What do i di and Why am i missing him so very much??????
Answer 418 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear freaked,
A sudden and tragic bereavement at any age is hard to cope with, maybe more so at an age like 13, when one may be even more vulnerable. it sounds as if you still have many unresolved issues around this, which is wat happens when a grief is not well handled at the time ( I expect that most of the focus of sympathy and attention were on his immediate family, maybe not much recognition of its impact on you ) it can become a chronic problem needing expert help. This is something you can definitely get over, with benefits to you and to your husband and children. It need not be hurtful to your hubby to know that you have a chronic grief problem, because this is the problem ; it's not the same as someone still hankering after an old boyfriend who has simply gone off to a different relatonship ; it's not an issue of being unfaithful to your marriage, but of problems of unresolved grief.
See a good psychotherapist, maybe a clinical psychologist, to explore, udnerstand, and resolve these issues.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.