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22 Nov 2005

help i think im in love but not with my husband
when i was a little girl 6 to be exact i had this crush on one of my familys friends son. I really wanted to be with him, silly really at that age. I moved away and nver heard from him and his family for a while.. The last few years my mom has been in contact with his mom. I started dating my husband at 16, fell pregant at 20 and got married at 6 months pregnant.

I went to visit this boys mom and sister recently and they told me to email this boy and i started to and we started chatting online and well hes 8 yrs older but we click. he understands me and he is such a wonderful person. I felt a feeling i havent felt in a long long time butterflies in my stomach so bad i felt naseous. I fear im falling in love with him. Its really weird to meet after like not seeing each other for like 12 years but we jsut have the same ideas and everything.. IS it too good to be true...? It this fate its worked this way...?

Ive been feeling really tied down in my marriage, im 23 have a young child and I dont know if I am with the person I want to spend my life with...My husband and I have been having trouble lately so bad weve even talked of divorce. i think we may have met to young and things rushed in and now we both feeling the pressure of it...I dont know what to do.. This other man wants to meet up and I really want to aswell but i have a child to look out for..
PLEASE HELP ADVICE NEEDED
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Nothing to do with fate ; don't over-romanticise the idea. It IS too good to be true. I think this is the Grass Is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence syndrome. With your husband you have been through the normal ups and downs of any real relationship ; with this fantasy guy, he's had no chance to let you experience the problems of living with him, so it seems like a marvellous idea to you. If you left your husband you would hurt him terribly, and do no good to your child --- and if you then moved in with this other guy, you would STILL be 23 and married and have a young child --- you'd be at least as tied down as you feel you are at present. And for this guy to be encouraging you, a married woman with a child, to meet up with him, well, sorry, that is not what a truly nice guy would do --- it's selfish and irresponsible. Rather talk with your husband and persuade him to join you in marriage counselling. "Falling out of love" is too easy an excuse ; and if you can change, then you can change within the marriage and continue to meet your responsibilities and nhanc the marriage for the benefit of all three of you.
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