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29 Jan 2003

Horny Goat Weed - BULLS.......
Gave my boyfriend these pills for a month - no effect. Still the same "numbness" and I can't handle it anymore. HELP!!!! There must be something else!!!
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Expert
Sexologist
sexy

01 Jan 0001

What on earth makes you think that a "pill" can fix him. You feel deprived, frustrated, and angry that you are not getting your needs met. One of the most common disagreements between couples is their differing desires concerning frequency of sex. So try to figure out what would be acceptable to you, and to him, and see where you can find common ground, or areas of agreement.

Was it ever any different? What do you think changed? What, if anything, changed for him?

I would think about expanding your definition of sex. Is it intercourse you want? orgasm with him? touching? being wanted? kissing? tenderness? Perhaps you need to be more clear on exactly what your needs are, or what needs the behaviors might be fulfilling, or possible other ways to get to the same goal. For example, perhaps the need for intercourse would abate if you took a couple¹s massage course together.

There is an expression, "Don't pursue a distancer", and since you have done everything to interest your husband to no avail, I think you might need some assistance in changing the dynamic. I would really think about the idea of seeing someone to talk with this about. Couple counseling is one option, but I wouldn¹t hesitate to go into individual counseling if he will not go, for whatever reason. Life is too short to spend it feeling angry. A counselor can help you figure out your options. Communicating clearly is a skill that can be strengthened, and talking with someone may be the next step in bringing you one step closer to your perhaps newly redefined goals. You owe it to yourself.

Contact SA Sexual Health Association 00860 100 262 for a referal in your area.

Good Luck
Dr Elna Mcintosh
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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