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Question

31 Mar 2003

how can a be supportive?
When my boyfriend tells me about his bad day at work or anything else that's bothering him I'm unsure about what to say. I'm afraid that if I try to give him advice I'll seem like I'm interfering, if I don't say anything I worry in case he doesn't think I'm listening. What can I do?
Answer 344 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Me,
Well, giving advice isn't absolutely compulsory ! Simply do what anyone does when they're listening sincerely to whatever someone else is saying. Listen. Look at him without staring. Make soothing noises, whatever's appropriate ( Gosh ! Gee ! How awful ! That must feel bad ! What appened next ? " ) and that's more than enough for most of us, most of the time. Maybe, if he indicates he wants to talk more about it, you can ask about what he thinks is best for him to do about it ; how he feels about it, etc., and offer encouragement, about how much you like him and think well of him.
Actually, many of us know what we need to do in a situation, and don't necesarily need advice --- but support and encouragement ate always acceptable.
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