Ask an expert
Question

08 Jan 2013

How do i end this nightmare marriage
I had been in a marriage for about full two years but it feels like 200 years. The problems i have with my husband occurs different daily, i came to a point where i realise that its either our marriage will never work and it must end. We had so many fights, differences and mistrusts. He has lots of friends that he spends time with out of home with them, he will always accuse me of cheating, he will never assist me with any tasks in the house. I must be home on time where as he is roaming the streets with friends at times arriving 03h00 in the morning (i once wrote about it here). He never compliments me, my hair, clothes, food or just to say thank you. Things must always be for him and he must be appreciated. He is very selfish and he is a pathetic liar. We separated last year August and reconsiled around November after long family meetings and he said he will go for counselling he stopped after we reconsiled. He promised to change to be a better husband. Now when i complain about his friends he says i make his life difficult, when i complain he says if i have plans to leave him i must just go. I dumped my friends and social clubs to save my marriage and no luck. He is a physchopath and can threaten of killing me at times, that why i fear to say its over. I am just wondering if there is a perfect marriage or is all marriages like this i just need to be strong. Inside i am dying daily and i pretend to be okay outwards. I just wanna go with my child and leave in peace, please help how to. His family told me they can see he will never change, my fear is we married in community of property and i might lose some of my pension money to him, he is also employed and i earn more than him. I have a child and he has one as well, we dont have a child together.
Answer 328 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like a lazy, irresponsible and selfish guy and a lousy husband. Is it worthwhile to raise with the family that intervened that he dropped out of the counselling and went back to his bad old habits ? His threats sound illegal and potentially dangrous. GEt advice from groups like POWA that help abused women find safer ways to leave such a brute.
Fortunately, all marriage are absolutely not like this, and there's no excuse for his selfishness and cruelty.
And consult a good lawyer ; whatever the law says about community of property, in a divorce on grounds of his cruelty, neglect and threats, a court might not agree that he should be rewarded. That goodness you don't have a child with him.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9324 votes
No
67% - 18749 votes
Vote