Ask an expert

20 Dec 2002

How do I minimize the pain
I am seeing a guy who is 10 year younger than me and who also works under me and we have been seeing each other for 3 and half years. We have a two year old baby. I trusted him so much but recently I discovered he had seen someone else. He is at college away and I ony get to see him twice every year. I love him and wish I could forgive him so we can move on. I am consumed with jealousy and I have been phoning this other woman wanting to know all the details about this relationship. He says this relationship is over and he loves me and is committed to us but I can not get past this betrayal even though I am desperate to do so. I am in such pain I am even scared I might hurt myself. I am divorced and my ex-husband also cheated on me. My self-esteem has been knocked sideways and i am asking myself whether there is something wrong with me. I know I am driving him even further away with my actions but I can not seem to help myself. I want to do the right thing for me
Answer 348 views

01 Jan 0001

Tate, this isn’t my field of expertise, but because I feel that trust is crutial to a relationship, I think you should think long and hard before you go on with this relationship. I really believe that no matter what your faults are, you can’t be blamed for him cheating on you. If there was something wrong with you, he could’ve ended the relationship, but he chose to cheat on you – a sign of dishonest character. It would almost be easier to understand if he was unhappily married to you, but he has none of those things in his defence.
I think I’ve said too much already. Maybe the best would be for you to ask CyberShrink what he thinks. Good luck.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
33% - 9323 votes
67% - 18742 votes