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Question
02 Nov 2006
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Husband ignoring me
Hi,
My husband and I had a fight, almost a week and a half ago. The problem is when he feels that I said something to affend him, he will ignore me for as long as he decided to speak to me. My question to you is, how do you treat a person that have this attitude towards you and does not sit and speak about what went wrong. He eventually will, but he ignores me now for almost two weeks. I really don't know what to do. He will not accept anything from me, even if I made him a cup of Tea, he will not drink it, and after an hour go make himself a cup of tea. This way of handling with conflict is going on for quite a time/years. I want to know how can I end this kind of behaviour? I really love him, but he is hurting me very much at this time!
My husband and I had a fight, almost a week and a half ago. The problem is when he feels that I said something to affend him, he will ignore me for as long as he decided to speak to me. My question to you is, how do you treat a person that have this attitude towards you and does not sit and speak about what went wrong. He eventually will, but he ignores me now for almost two weeks. I really don't know what to do. He will not accept anything from me, even if I made him a cup of Tea, he will not drink it, and after an hour go make himself a cup of tea. This way of handling with conflict is going on for quite a time/years. I want to know how can I end this kind of behaviour? I really love him, but he is hurting me very much at this time!
CyberShrink
OK, this is indeed a malagaptive, unhelpful way for him to approach problems in the relationship, but you say this has been his way for many years. Can you say to him that you had no intention of ofending him, and are sorry that something you said seems to have had that effect ? Once this episode is over, do you think you could subtly persuad ehim to join you in marriage counselling, to work specifically on these problems, even if he sees it as finding ways for him to deal better with the problems he may experience with you ?
yes, indeed, he is being childish, but childish people don't change because you tell them they're being childish --- on the contrary, they get more stubbornly childish, instead.
yes, indeed, he is being childish, but childish people don't change because you tell them they're being childish --- on the contrary, they get more stubbornly childish, instead.
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