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23 Feb 2004

Husband problems!


I've been married to my husband when I was 17. (Married 19 years now, with 2 kids) We have always been happy as per any normal couple and he was always the very dominant person in our relationship. What he said was rule.... finished. I was a secretary at the time and have been in that occupation for 17 years. I started working for a company and realized that I have the potential to better myself in my working environment. I am now a manager and feel good about my job and responsibilities. I have now become very confident etc etc.

This has caused problems in my marriage. My job the people I work for everything irritate my husband. If I attend any meetings he gets angry with me. He hates it if I have to go to any meeting outside the office. I do not travel and I'm at home normal time by 4:30. If I go to a meeting I will tell him but he still gets angry with me. I'm so despondent with everything and even losing interest in my work because of the strain it's causing my marriage. On weekends we fine but on a Monday morning we start fighting. If I call him and he's busy with somebody in his office then he will say I will call u back, but this morning I had to do the same, and he was furious and put the phone down in my ear. I phoned him and I told him that I was busy with my assistants "catch up meeting" he asked if they more important than him?

I'm really so tired of this situation and its getting me down, I can not leave my job because financially it would be silly and we can not afford it.

I;m so SICK of this situation. I really love him but I don't know how to cope with his moods its driving me crazy.

I've given you a very short version of this story, but would really be grateful for your advice.


Answer 375 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Isn't it a shame when a spouse starts behaving so very childishly and selfishly ? Clearly, he has a very shaky sense of self-esteem, and feels very threatened by any reminder of your success, without being adult enough to recognize both how your success benefits him ( as well as you ) and how it doesn't diminish him in any way.
Marriage counselling would be able to help, if he's man enough to sincerely take part in it. Maybe you need to talk to him and explain how very hurtful his behaviour is, and how it eneds to stop, and suggest that you seriously want him to join you in marriage counselling to sort out what is bothering him so much about your success at work, as you are so well able to appreciate his work success. You can explain how much you love him, but how unloveable this behaviour is.
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