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24 Feb 2003

I DO, I DON'T How do I know if it's right?
I'm uncertain wether or not to get married. How can you tell if this is the "right" person for you? Is it logical or is it an all "romantic" thing? How do I know if my partner wants to be with me forever, if he loves me enough to be with me??? I'm very confused. Please give me an answer???
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CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Whooz,
I wish I had a simple answr to those questions --- if mankind knew an infallible way to answer them, there'd never be a divorce and veryone would live happily ever after ! I suspect its neither totally logical ( philosophers and accountants would always have happy marriages, and they don't ) ; nor totally romantic, or it'd be a lot easier than anyoen ever finds i to be. Can you be sure your partner will want you forever ? I doubt whether he can be certain, een if he thinks he is. "In love forever" is a description of how we may feel now. Forever takes a lot longer, and includes a couple facing situations they've never experienced before and where they cannot, now guess how they will respond I guess I'm saying we can be reasonably sure of how we feel now, and wat we expect --- now.
The old-fashioned idea of a reasonably long engagement was wise --- it provided time in which a couple could learn how they felt about each other not just in the heady days of early love, but over the inevitable crises, problems, and the stretches of tedium within a relationship, which all normal relaitonships go through, and each could see how they and the other responded to these situations.
That you feel some concern, and have some doubts, does not mean there's something wrong with the relationship --- it suggests, rather, that you're being realistically cautious.
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