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07 Dec 2005

I feel like i am drowning!
I had an affair with a married guy, it has been going on for about 3 months but i moved into his house, with his wife and kid and still went on. One night we were in the lounge together smooching and carrying on and his wife walked in. Obviously i moved out it was too uncomfortable for all of us. Since i moved out he does not contact me and does not show any care at all. I know what was happening was wrong but it made us both feel alive and excited. What should i do, mope over the idiot or move on because he never really cared. But he kept saying things like if i were not married i'd be with you and we could have a child together and and and.... it went on, he even told me that he was falling inlove with me. How do i resolve this one, my heart pines to see him or just to know if he is ok, what do i do?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Are you nuts ? Having an affair with a married man is a grubby thing to do, hurting innocent people for your selfish pleasure. But to move in with them ? What were you thinking ? What on earth did you expect to happen ? And how can you be surprised that he no longer calls you ?
HE USED YOU, and said whatever worked to get you into bed with him. There'll be another woman doing that job for him by now. You shouldn't care whether he is OK or not. Recognize that he was lying to you and using you, learn from the experience so as never to do such a silly thing again, and move on. You don't deserve and are unlikely to achieve closure. What would you achieve by seeing or contacting him again ? DO you want him to tell you some fresh lies ? Have you run out of the last ones ?
Think of his wife who you hurt so badly, and for her sake, do not contact them again, and make sure the next man in your life is free and not married.

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