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09 Jul 2005

i just lost my babygirl
hi,
i went into labour on thursday and when we got to the birthing unit we found out she has no heartbeat anymore...i had to give birth to her...she was so perfect and we dressed her and all said our goodbyes to her.my whole family is in shock and i cant begin to understand it or how to deal with it.do you think it is a good idea to take tranquilisers or something?i dont know where to from here.i just feel numb...is there a specific kind of route for therapy to take?
getting old
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear g.o,
I am so sorry to hear of your tragedy. One starts by feeling stunned, disbelieving, and later the grief comes. With such a major loss being so unexpected, it is the harder to come to terms with. You will, in time, come to terms with this and get beyond your grief, though right now that may seem to be impossible. Counselling would help, and ask wiether the birthing unit has ( they ought to ) a counsellor / psychologist they work with who is familiar with such situatons. You may also check out whether there is a branch near you of an organization called The Compassionate Friends, which provides a support group for parents who have lost children, at whatever age.
Tranquillizers wouldn't help in this numb phase ; and are much less helpful than one might expect. Some grief specialists feel that these may be unhelpful, producing a sort of frozen grief, rather than helping one to get through the necessary grief work, which counselling can do. If they are to be used, it's best to do so perhaps to promote sleep at night, and maybe in the first week or two at most. But concentrate on finding a suitable counsellor to work with you, husband and family at this difficult time.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
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