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01 Jun 2011

I love her
I am in love with my ex-girlfriend for many years. We broke up years ago because I was too intimidated by her as she is older. We both married other people but I am sorry. I married someone younger but have not really been happy. Now she has let me back into her life but I am afraid I will disappoint her and not live up to her expectations. She says she loves me but also still loves her husband. I compare my spouse to her all the time which is unfair but this has always been my dreamgirl and I can''t believe she has taken me back. We get along well and understand each other though she works a lot and goes away often. She is very understanding and often even tries to help me sort out my marital problems and encourages me to be a good dad. She advises me what to do on weekends with my kids when I miss her as she is often busy with her family. She''s given sense to my life again and I have learnt a lot of good parenting skills. I often wonder why she loves me but I am so happy to have her back in my life. I am just constantly concerned that I won''t be able to live up to her standards, though she says she loves me for who I am.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You are both married. See marriage counsellor ( separately, of course ) and sort out whatever isn't working in your different marriages, and if that is impossible to achieve, divorce. For both of you to cheat on blameless spouses is seedy.
Maybe she is being genuinely helpful in some ways - but she is also interfering in our marriage and may be encouraging a form of infidelity.
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