Ask an expert
Question

06 Jul 2011

I miss the wife I married
I miss the wife I married about 35 years ago!! I am still " married"  to the same woman but she has done so many things and are still doing things that is so not her!!

She is always busy either doing private work or studying, which she started doing this year!! She will be 60 if she gets her degree!!

She had an affair which went horribly wrong for them. Which is good for I could have done something to the man and I could have ended up in jail!! We have not made love in 19 months!!

Taking all of this into consideration, I am stupid for staying with her but I have to for now. I have got my future planned but the time is not right at the moment to put everything into place!!

I am calm and maybe somewhere down deep I might still feel something, that is perhaps why I miss my wife!! How do I get her back??
Answer 413 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Is her recent behaviour actually untrue to her inner and eternal self ( unlikely ) or shaped by disorder, or just signs of her growth and development, maybe in ways you didn't expect or anticipate ? Why do you feel that studying or doing private work is "not her" ? Presumably it's fulfilling for her ? Maybe these are things she has long wanted to be able to do, but was unable to tackle before now ?
Not making love for an extended period and the affair, does indeed suggest that the relationship is not goping well ( and maybe she has looked in these more intellectual areas, for more satisfaction ) - but marriage counselling can always help improve mutual understanding and content. Your comments sound as though you have planned a future that either doesn't include her, o at least has not included her in the planning. Why is this ? Does she know how much you feel that you miss her ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
34% - 9269 votes
No
66% - 17879 votes
Vote