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23 Jan 2013

I need to decide and need help
I am in a relationship for 2.5 years, we dont live together, he has 2 sons and I have a daughter, I have come to a crossroad in this relationship, let me tell you about him: he has been in 3 relationships before first was his marriage which did not work out, he looks after the boys and is a good father but very strict and heartless sometimes towards the kids, he is a reliable guy good working record, never lies, hates it if someone else does, does not cheat, BUT his parents lives on his plot and are always fighting, he has the most difficult father, always cross, fighting with his wife and was n very abusive father toward his son, and this really reflect in our relationship, whenever we fihgt he becomes so heartless, I can not disagree on anything then he takes it personally and shuts down totally no contact ie: sms email talking on the phone, we are on that spot again, been like this for the last 3 weeks, today he sends me a mail saying I should tell him what have I decided on doing in this relationship, I honestly dont know!!!!! will he ever change....I must also mention he is much better than in the beginning...I am very good friends with his kids and actually treat them like my own...please I have prayed and asked for God to guide me, I need to know what to do, I love this guy for his good qualities, but in the sametime are so unhappy with him sometimes...
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds like he has some excellent qualities, but maintaining a happy relationship may not be one of them, and apparently not something he had any chance of learning from his parents.
Maybe a friendship rather than a closer relationship could be continued ; I wonder whether he'd even take seriously a possibility of coples counselling and contemplate really changing for the better ?
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