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23 Feb 2009

I need to help my friend
My best friend broke up with a boyfriend that she loved more than herself. He told her that they cannot continue with the relationship after she found out that he was sponging her money and spoil some high school kid that he was seeing.

My friend was so hurt by this, I was even scared that she will commit suicide if not kill him because she was in so much financial trouble after they broke up. He just paraded his gf as if nothing happened. I used to practically stay with the friend in my place and we use to talk a lot, advising her where I could. We use to discuss thingz that she can do to the guy as part of the revenge, most of them very stupid just to pass time. Guess what my friend went behind my back and implemented one of the stupidiest stunts I' ve ever seen. Phoned the couple and threatned them and got ppl to go to the guys place and threatened the family, the guy took a transfer and went to Jhb with the hope that the gf will study there the following year. But that did not happen because of what my friend did. the gf is studying at varsity in Dbn and the bf is in Jhb without her. I thought my friend got over what happened last year but yesterday she broke down and told me about the attempts that she did to break them up but to no avail they are still together. How can I help my friend, I thought she was over this but as from yesterday I realised that she is still hurting. To make matters worse she spies on them through facebook and I know that is hurting her so much.

How can she still want the guy that put her through so much financial trouble?

Is that normal?
Answer 363 views

01 Jan 0001

Well, from the sound of it, she may be in love with the guy she thought he was, rather than the rotten guy he actually is, so she's lucky to be rid of him, even if she doesn't emotionally recognise that yet.
If there is a realistic reason to blieve she may consider suicide or some other drastic action, then this is beyond your capacity to help directly, and you should persuade her to go to casualty or otherwise see a shrink as an emergency. Lifeline can advise on this, too. But such a rotten guy is no worth any woman getting so upset about. Her own nasty attempts at revenge are morally wrong as well as doomed to fail. They will not bring him back, but, rather, will scae him away, as well as potentially getting her herself into serious trouble.
She must focus on seeing him for what he is ( undesirable ) rather than insisting on the fantast of what she thought he was
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