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27 Aug 2007

I'm in turmoil!
Hi,
I've been working for a company for over four years. It was my first real job. I work with the most awful person on God's green earth. Everyday for four years she has tried to make my life a living hell. She has even gone as far as to organise with our now ex HR lady her bestest smoking buddy for a disciplinary hearing saying that i have attitude. I had no experience when i started here and therefore my aim was to learn as much as possible and pick up along the way. But now I have reached the fork in the road where i need to choose do i stay or do i leave. At first i figured that maybe i do have an attitude problem but then i asked myself why does everyone else "love me to bits". Please bear in mind that this "cow" is in her mid 60's.
My boss is a really good man. He appreciates my extra efforts and hard work. I hold back on complaining to him because I'm not a typical nag-bag. So only once this year have I really complained. It almost seems as if she lays awake at night pondering on how to make my life difficult the next day. She is rude with me and alot of my suppliers. She has ruined most of all the good relationships i had with many good suppliers. I have tried and everytime she does something to offend me like making her racist comments, I am left with egg all over my face. She will send me nasty emails and perform because she's not getting her way. And again I am left sending her emails to apologise. Most of the time I want to go home and slit my wrists because I'm so miserable. I have been for many interviews in the past year but I've turned them all down because I feel guilty. I am endebted to my boss for giving me a chance with no experience when no one else would.
I have no respect for this woman but I still talk very respectfully to her because this is the way I have been brought up. I am going to tell my boss this morning that I'm going to leave in four months time because dealing with this situation is just too much for me to handle.
I'm tired of always being at fault. I'm seeing an agent on Wednesday about looking for a job for me for next year. Do you think I'm at fault? Am I doing something wrong? I've many people and every seems to be on my side. But still i feel guilty. I'm a good accountant. Books to trial balance. I do my job as well as whatever adhoc work that anyone else needs me to do because the more i help other people the quicker the work will get done.
Thats also an issue for her why must I help other people. She thinks I'm trying to steal her job which is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I'm not evil or kniving so I wouldnt go out of my way to push her out of a company she's been with for 7 years. My aim is just to learn. I am doing a Bcom degree and thats enough pressure without having to deal with her. This situation has become to vile that I even developed an ulser. I never used to get sick and now all I am is sick everyday.

Long speel...
Please help.
Answer 407 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Don't feel guilty, this doesn't at all sound like your fault and you should never feel guilty for what someone else is doing. Is there a new HR person you could discuss this with ? It does sound as though it is high time for you to discuss this calmly with your boss, explaining the situation as you have done here. ANd keep backup copies of all her nasty emails. Of course you're not at fault, but give your boss a chance to put things right, and to deal with the dragon.
She may well feel that you are trying to steal her job, because she feels insecure and much less bright and able than you are, not because of anything you're doing wrong.
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