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31 Jul 2007

I'm love a married man
My husband hd an affair and left me for the other woman, I was devastated and lost everything dear to me. Now , one year later I love a married man. We've been having an affair for 4 months, he confessed to his wife last week. Since then we've been trying to break contact but always end where we contact each other. We are very much in love but cannot leave his children. He has again asked me to break all contact so that he can try and save his marriage. If it doesn't work out then at last he'll know he tried. He says he has to live with his consciense and can't leave them. I - again am devastated. I know I am in the wrong, but what about my feelings.... what do we do with the love we share ? What must I do ?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Why does one get an urge to repeat the offense other people gave you ? You know exactly what it feels like to have your husband have an affair for another woman --- and now you are eager to be the "other woman" in someone else's grief ? You are concentrating on OUR feelings, and seem to be totally ignoring HER feelings.
And 4love, who seems not to have had the experience of being cheated on, is not quite right. You may not be wholly responsible for who you feel love for ( though this isn't a totally uncontrollable strike of lightning ), but you ARE, ALWAYS, responsible for what you choose to do about it. Nothing compelled you to become involved in a physical affair, and nothing forces you to keep in constant communication with him. You are choosing to contrinue this. Just as the Other Woman chose to take your husband from you. This is NOT your only chance for love, so let go and move on, and wait for an opportunity to love someone who is honestly free to exchange love with you.
The fact that your husband cheated on you and hurt you does NOT entitle you to cheat or hurt others.

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