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12 Aug 2007

incest : future effects
sex was an ordeal for my wife and I've recently realised that this was the route cause of our divorce.We are still friends and recently she told me she and her sister had been molested as girls.I havn't asked for details but I do know I was the first man to have (vaginal) intercourse with her.Occasionally she would wake me up and we would have great sex but if I thanked her the next day she'd make out she didn't know what I was talking about.Please could you give me your oppinion.Thank you.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello. It is indeed common for people, ( men and women ) who have been molested or sexually abused as children to later experience a variety of sxual difficulties. And this can obviously cause problems within a marriage. Skilled counselling, such as the Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy form, can greatly help such a person to get themselves free from the aftereffects of what was done to them, and set them free to enjoy sex freelly, and thus to more readily enjoy close relationships such as marriage. Is your ex wife open to the idea of seeking and working with a good local therapist ? I so, it sounds from your message as though you would be interested in encouraging her to do so, and perhaps reconsidering the marriage / relationships ? If you both share that idea, maybe some couples counselling after she has worked with her individual counsellor, might be worth exploring
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