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05 Jul 2011

irresponsible fiance
Hi,please help, I have a fiance who i feel is childish and irresponsible ,always he has no money(HE HAS A JOB) I don remember how many times i borrowed him money it does not come back recently he was desparate (his car broken)I boorrwed him my moms money now he is playing games and reluctant to bring it back I am so angry at myself that I let this happen for so long I even helped him with Lobola am confused am not sure if this is the future I want,he says he has financial problems and he will bounce back but the looks of things he is a spoiled brat..please help how do I solve this?I love him but I just cannot take this anymore!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

If you feel he is childish and iresponsible, he probably is. If he has a job, where does all his money go if he is customarily penniless ? If he doesn't repay your loans, stop lending him your money. Are drugs, alcohol, or other women involved ( the commonest expenses of someone whose salary mysteriously disappears )? What's the point of helping him to pay lobola ( presumably for marrying you ? ) ? Why hasn't he already explained his "financial problems" to you, rathwer than just expecting you to pay for them ?
Most of us don't find spopiled brat's lovable at all. See his weaknesses and the unpleasant side of his predatory relationship, using you, and try to match your emotions more appropriately to the situation. You know what to do, it's clear in your message. Leave him behind in your dust and move on. You deserve someone far, far better than him.
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