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05 Feb 2008

Irritations at home
I am 42 yrs old and I stopped drinking alcohol about two years ago. I stopped playing golf over weekends and I am also spending more time in town than out of town. I only go to the gym for two hours in a day four times a week. Since I changed my lifestyle, I have been more frustrated at home than before. At least when I used to be out of town a lot or playing golf and having those after-game drinks with buddies, I would come back home too tired for an argument.<br><br>These days we fight a lot at home over a number of issues which initially were non-issues. We fight over my friends who visit me at home, I am facing restrictions as to where I should walk or sit in our house, my newspapers make a mess, my most favourite stuff is either thrown away or hidden out of reach, I am too rough with the kids, the way she spends her income (by mid-month she doesn't have money for fuel in her car), and she can't account for it, etc. In summary I suddenly found out that when we are together we really are irritable and can't tolerate each other's dissenting views.<br><br>I am now missing my golf days, nights out with the boys and those week-long business trips out of town but I am resisting the temptation!!
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Sounds as though you miss an earlier era when you used alcohol and evasiveness / avoidance not only to avoid arguments, but also to evade a real relationship --- and there may be acumulated problems arising from that era, which you are neither of you dealing with particularly well at this stage. Wouldn't it be wise for you to see a marriage counsellor together, to sort out the issues underlying the petty annoyances that are so troublesome at present ?
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