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22 Jul 2005

Is my sister delusional?
This is a long story, but I'll be as brief as possible. My sister has a severe problem and I don't know if it's a mental problem or if she's just plain difficult. It started in her teens probably before. She was never satisfied with anything anyone did for her. She loves being a victim and has caused so many problems in our family. I've cut her out of my life as this seems to make my life better and no longer causes heartache. My mother is very hurt though which I can understand. She firmly believes our father sexually molested her which is not the case. This surfaced when she was went for hypnotherapy - she still sees the shrink and I know for a fact that he finds her very difficult to deal with. She does what she likes eg missing a birthday, travels without informing anyone but God forbid if you do this to her! It's always about her! Her eldest son has even branded her as having a split personality. Her whole life evolves around her! She constantly drags up the past (bad in her mind) and accuses people of doing her in or being two faced and liars. This is only the half of it but our family are at our wits end. She's still seeing the shrink - don't know why. He seems to tell her what she wants to hear.
Please help we don't know what to do anymore. Nothing we do is right! Personally I think she should be locked away in a mental institution.
Answer 427 views

01 Jan 0001

I'm sorry to hear that she is still seeing someone who was unwise enough to use hypnotherapy with her, as this almost inevitably discovers "memories" of childhood abuse, even when it is certai that no such thing ever happened --- and it seems almost inevitably to lead to long,l even interminable "therapy" with the hypnotist. I know of absolutely no convincing evidence that this approach has ever helped anyone. She sounds like she is suffering from the False memory Syndrome, in which a naive therapist, foolishly using hypnotherapy in a situation in which it should NOT be used, suggests, either deliberately or without even recognizing that they have done so, that abuse took place --- this usually leads to great bitterness and family breakup. And often in cases where there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to believe that abuse occurred.
Check online, for the website of the *** False Memory Syndrome Foundation ****, at www. , where you'll find a host of information about this condition which has caused so much chaos and misery, through bad therapy. In such cases, I have rarely heard of the shrink who helped to create the syndrome, every stopping therapy, unless the person's funding ran out. At which point, if the therapy stopped, they very often got better.
You have brilliantly summed up why such shrinks can become so popular and achieve such frightening control over an individual --- he tells them what they want to hear, gives them an excuse for anything they might choose to do, with complete absolution, and gives them an excuse to consider themselves thwe center of the universe, in a life based on adoring their self-image as an eternal victim.
In america, some recovered victims of such misguided therapy have successfully sued their "therapists" for million,s with success.
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