Ask an expert

12 Dec 2005

Is this normal
I have been gay since I can remeber and I love it... I have been single for many many moons now (I am currently 25)... the thing is that when ever I have sex with a guy I totaly freak out about HIV... Yes I always have safe sex, but I find myself going for 4 HIV tests and stress myself into taking Prozac every time I do the act. Thus I don't have sex for the next 6months till I repeat the whole story... meaning that I have sex twice a year... and for the rest of the time I stress about getting HIV.... My god, I am NEVER gonna get a man....
Answer 381 views
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert
Gay, lesbian and bisexual expert

01 Jan 0001

Hi xXx and thanks for posting here.

It is possible that, in terms of HIV infection, you fall into a category referred to as "high anxiety, low risk". Sometimes our anxiety about HIV can become disabling, with some men even becoming impotent due to their exacerbated fear of being infected with HIV.

This often presents in gay men who don't feel comfortable about sex anyway - they may have a sense of shame or guilt about gay sex, often due to internalised homophobia - or they are prone to anxiety in their every-day lives. Some people who have issues with sex being 'dirty' also attribute their anxiety around sex to their fear of HIV infection

Which is all a huge pity, because you loose the ability to express yourself sexually in a loving, creative or spontaneous way.

Firstly, you need to ensure that you're up to date regarding safer sex. Get the facts and use them to dispel some of your anxiety. Safer sex is very easy.

Secondly, I suggest you consider speaking to a gay counsellor - if you're in or near Cape Town please call Triangle Project on (021) 448 3812 for an appointment - to resolve some of your issues related to anxiety and sex.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
33% - 9326 votes
67% - 18775 votes