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20 Aug 2007

Is this real?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME ! !

I am married to a dedicated, loyal and loving husband. We have been married for 14 years and have three kids. We both work hard at our relationship and all the rest of the world can see is a very happy family. This is also a true reflection of my family but for one part. For the past three years, I have never revealed to ANYONE that I have fallen for one of MY HUSBAND'S friends. This guy is also married and although I do sense chemistry between us, neither has ever revealed that we could be more than friends. I would like to state that i have no intention of acting on my feelings or of breaking up two families for the sheer pleasure of satisfied lust. In fact, I've deliberately avoided all contact with him and only speak or see him when I have no other choice, which is rare. We have never spent any time alone. I'm worried though that after three years, my feelings for him have only grown to the point where I'm constantly thinking of him. I feel terribly guilty and ungratefully selfish for not appreciating my husband the way I should. I know that i'm incredibly lucky to have such a great husband who have done nothing but be supportive towards me.

HAVE I ROMANTISIZED THIS PERSON SO MUCH THAT HE PROBABLY HAS BECOME A FIGMENT OF MY IMAGINATION OR AM I JUST AN UNGRATEFUL, SHELFISH, IMMORAL AN UNDESERVING WIFE WHO SPENDS EVERY WAKING MOMENT PRETENDING TO BE A LOVING???.

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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

You know that no good EVER comes from a married woman having an affair with a maried man, let alone when the guy is your husband's best friend. It does sound as though this has become an unwholesome obsession, based largely on your fantasies about how things might be, rather than on any reality of how things are. YOu are indeed in love with the idea of being in love, and with a figment of your imagination.
See a counsellor to sort out these unwelcome and unhelpful feelings, and consider then working with your husband in some sessions of marriage counselling to enhance your marriage, for the sake of both of you
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