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06 Mar 2003

IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICKNESS / WHAT ?
I’m having a relationship with this guy for more than 3yrs now. When we met he was involved with someone else and they were staying together and have a son together. Lat year they broke up because he was inlove with me. We’re now staying together and have a 1yr old baby. The problem is that I’m so very much insecured. The minute he speaks with someone on the phone I start to panic thinking he’s speaking to the ex. Even he comes home late / something I’ll start thinking that he’s been with his ex. I don’t know if this is some kind of sickness / what but I’d like to stop being insecurred.
Answer 431 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Teddy, not a sickness, but a predictable problem and dilemma. I keep trying to remind people that while it's actually hard to accurately predict how someone else will behave, their previous behaviour is about the best predictor of their future behaviour. So, a guy who lived with one woman and had a baby with her ; then moved on to another woman and had another baby, is not a guy I'd be eager to trust completely to remain faithful. But of course he might be entirely faithful, and being excessively suspicious might run the risk of making him feel justified in moving away. If its practical, getting both of you involved in marriage / relationship counselling might be a good idea.
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