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Question

09 Dec 2005

“Issues”…..How do I deal with it??
I’ve been hurt before. I’m divorced with 2 kids.
I’ve met this wonderful guy whom I love very much.

I KNOW that being hurt before doesn’t necessarily mean Im gonna get hurt again..But yet, I get doubtful and become so cynical.
I was this trusting person before I got hurt, and I want to become that person again…
My BF told me I still have “issues” I need to work on…..
But HOW?? How do I deal with these “issues”..??

I cant afford to go for therapy…I’m quite a level headed person…but sometimes I react irrationally and almost immediately regret my actions etc…

He is rather patient with me….which I appreciate so much…
Will this behaviour of mine change for the better over time??

I want to love, trust etc like Ive never been hurt before…..But saying something and actually living it…..is soooo different …and difficult….

Answer 288 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

We flip-flop, don't we ? We generally start out in life grossly underestimating the risk of being hurt in relationships ; then, after our first major hurt, we tend to switch to over-estimating the risk.
Sounds like you have the right sort of partner with whom to work on this, and if you can manage even a few counselling / FAMSA sessions, this could help accelerate the process.
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