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30 Nov 2005

It only struck me now !
In the past 10 minutes I was going through my budget and arranging for the necessary transfers to be done . I 've been married for a year and a half now. Something finally dawned in me that I'm carrying more than half the load I'm supposed to carry financially.
My husband pays for the bond and I pay for the car which is almost the same instalment.
I realised that for the past 6 months I've been paying for everything : electicity, home phone bills, credit card,my son's creche fees, alarm subscription and food . On top of that I have to transfer some money in his account every month for his cellphone bill which I've asked him several times to put a bill limit on and he did not . There is nothing concrete he does with his money except the bond and he pays a lot fo clothing store accounts which I've asked him to stop using . How do I handle this ? I havent bought myself one single new item of clothing in months and he comes home with a new item he bought on credit from these stores. I earn about R2000.00 more than he does but the diffreence in terms of what i do with my money and what he does is just too much. Money dissapear and he cannot account for - I sometimes wonder what he does with the money and he;ll tell me that one thins for sure he knows that he spent it for something at home which he cannot pinpoint. I miss being financially independent and before I was married I had enough money to save and see me and my sone through the month but now that I'm married I'm living from hand to mouth . I know it was somethign we should have cleared way before we got married but we did'nt . I'm already in this mess now and I need help to address this . He also becomes defensive when we talk about money issues like when I ask him to do a breakdown of what he spend the money on to balance things out but he'll duck and dive the issue and sometimes become angry : starts accusing me of not trusting him or of using the fact that I earn more than him to ridicule him . What steps should I take ?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Just stop paying the money to him, and insist that he share the financial burdens more fairly, with you. If you earn more than him, that's no excuse for him to keep all of his earnings for his own selfish uses
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