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30 Jul 2005

Just like that
Hallow CS
Ive recently got involved with the man I knew long ago. He is a very nice man but he is alwayz jolly( he is neva serious about things no matter how stressful things can be and that is his character.) We were nieghbours long time ago but not anymore, he is much too older than i am but love has no age. We are in diferent provinces and we phone each other now and then actually he is the one who is phoning me and im just a buzzer ( im buzzing him) thats whats he preferes anyway. He doesnt want me to spend my airtime by phoning him. Ive recently visited him in his province, everything was good and super. He doesnt treat me as a new gal frend in his life. He booked in one of the expensive hotels but guess what happened. B4 we went to the hotel we did it in his office on his desk. Is he taking an advantage of me? But i enjoyd it. Secondly Im definitely sure he is not a womaniser but i mean he might have one or two gal frends i wont kno and dont wanna kno. Wheneva I nid something he makes sure i get it financially, communication,even on friendly basis. One of these dayz I sent him an sms saying I MAY BE YOUR SECOND BEST BUT I KNO IM ALWAYZ ON YOUR MIND ( i was just teasing him) and he 4nd immediately saying "who told you that u r my second best listen my gally u r my fifth best) we ended up laughing. Im really confused now is he into me or what? Im not expecting any marriage on this affair I just want to be happy and joly I am cool being single as long as Im happy. He told me that next time when I visit his province he will hire me a car cause he doesn want to see me stranded and he will book a flight for me. The problem with these offers is what am I going to say to my parents (who gave me the money for the flight, whose car am i driving) mind u CS im not young Im 30 but my parents are still strict and my cousin sista told me that we relocated to another province bcos my parents were suspecting that the guy had feelings for me when I was a little gal

IS HE INTO ME OR NOT
Answer 357 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hi Ngalo,
You're online late ! It can be pleasant to know a guy who doesn't get too serious about things --- if this is appropriate, but maybe not so if he refuses to get serious when there are actually serious things happening or needing him to treat them seriously.
Now, wat you describe doesn't sound as if he is planning any serious relationship with you, and the fact that you enjoyed doing it on his desk, doesn't mean that he isn't taking advantage of you --- sometimes, you may enjoy being used, until you discover the disadvantages. It may well be that he's "into you" only in the physical sense, but is skilled at jollying you along and making you feel good, so long as he gets what he wants, which sounds like sex when he feels like it, a boost to his ego, and no complications or long-term committment on his side.
And remember, that if he has, or even has in the past had, other women, sexually, he can give you any STD or HIV/AIDS, which is a very serious risk. In this way, some fun can be very expensive indeed.
So, from what you say, if you're looking for a guy who will give you some material things for a time, have sex with you occasionally, well, you've probably got it. If you're looking for someone who will take you seriously and before too long marry you, or simply to respect you enough to protect you from STD and other complications, this is probably not him.
After the weekend, when most of our regular readers return to work, you'll probably receive a range of other opinions.
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