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5h ago

keep quiet or stand up for myself?
Hi all

Haven't been on the forum for a while.......

I'd like some advise on my situation:

I've been living with lovie for 6/7 months now and his mom lives with us, actually it's her house, but we see her maybe 3 times a week before she goes to work.
All this time we've been getting along very well, she even calls me her "skoondogter" or her daughter. So I've never thought that something was wrong.
She's never home, always gambling or at her friend's. She went to Sun City this weekend and lost alot of money. Now she phones lovie and complains about everything that's wrong in the house, and also says I'm lazy and this and that. I'm doing the cooking + cleaning and all the "woman stuff" in the house and now she says this.

What should I do?

Say what I feel and stand up for myself (and probably damage our 'relationship') OR keep quiet and let her take out her frustration on me?

Answer 518 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Hello again nel,
Maybe she's so upset with herself for being foolish enough to lose a lot in empty gambling, that she's trying to draw attention ( her own as well as his ) away from her own foolishness, and to find other faults and problems to be concerned about. If you are doing all the cooking, cleaning, etc, round the house --- what more does she imagine you should be doing ? Vague complaints are usually based on mood, rather than fact --- ask for specific examples of what more you could be doing, or how you could usefully be behaving differently.
And surely you need to discuss this in detail with you bf, who needs to intervene between you two and bring back the peace you all enjoyed until recently.
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