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23 Jun 2011

kids or no kids
Now how does one decide something like this? I know to most woman they are SET on having kids and know its what they want. So my man is much older than I am, he is 3 and has had 1 child who is now 18. So its not like I can say just wait and see what happens, and have a child when he is 50. I have always wanted 1 baby but our lives are filled with travel and seeing the world, and I know this will have to change even though I wouldv like to wait a few years, I know this isnt possible.... Im also so scared of pregnancy, if the process isnt what is is I wouldv had children by now..... what do I do? do i wait? do we make a set decision? it would have to be a set decision as he has stored sperm and we would have to do it via a gynae ect..... what must I do?
Answer 439 views

01 Jan 0001

Nobody else can make decisions like this for you. And they're not easy decisions. In life, you often decide to make trade-offs - sometimes achieving one of the things you want makes it difficult or impossible to achieve another of the things you want. SOme people value having and raising children in a close and loving way as the best option of all. Some would prefer, as apparently you do, marrying someone with a rich and interesting life-style including world travel - into which raising children would really not fit.
And pregnancy and child-birth are complex and not always entirely pleasant experiences, which one endures because the result is something we really desire.
Its a matter of priorities ; and you fears of pregnancy / childbirth may be based on realities or on lack of full understanding of relity. Do see a good counsellor together to work on mutually understanding what you both want and will be mos pleased by, to understand the advantages and disadvantages of alternative decisions ; and see a midwife or even gynae for information so you can better understand what bearing a child really involves.
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