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12 Mar 2003

KINDERS WAT NOG BY OUERS SLAAP
EK WIL WEET WAT DIE LANGDURIGE UIT WERKING IS VAN `N DOGTER VAN 11 WAT NOG BY HAAR MA SLAAP?DIT KOM VIR MY VOOR OF SY NIE MET KINDERS VAN HAAR OUDERDOM OOR DIE WG KOM NIE,WANT SY ASSOSIEER HULLE MET `N VOLWASSENE,OOK DINK EK DIE REDE VIR HAAR TERUG PRATERY MET HAAR HAAR MA IS DAT SY DINK HAAR MA IS HAAR MAAITJIE?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Dear Koos, lets see what other readers think about this one. We have dealt previously in the Forum ( check the Archives ) with the matter of kids sleeping with their parents.
It does sound as if there might be someting rather odd in this relationship. It's sad, but it does sometimes happen that a mother gets far too busy being a friend and pal to her child, and doesn't bother to be a mother. And it sounds as if the mother is in some ways behaving like an 11-year-old, with the child behaving in too adult a fashion, and mssing out on the pleasures of just being a child.
Is it the child who feels unable to sleep on her own --- or the mother ? There's no possible benefit to their sleeping together, although it may not be specifically harmful ; unless there is some more definate incestuous relationship developing. There probably won't be any long-term harm resulting from simply sharing the same bed, but one's worry would be more that it indicates more disorder in the relationship. It is not helping the child move towards independence as an adult, to sleep with her mother, like a baby.
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