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01 Feb 2008

Lack of imtimacy....
A week ago I submitted a post about my bf who never wanted to make love to me and when we did it was really bad and he would always get upset when I suggested we try something new. So 3 days ago after dinner he was working on the computer. So I was in the mood for some fun and so I stood behind his chair and started kissing his neck and breathing deeply into his ear and then slowly moved my hands south. Then he got up and brushed me off. I asked what was up and he said he is not turned on by that. So I thought that if I do not speak up now then I deserve the crappy sex I get when I am lucky enough to get it. So I told him how I felt. That I try to initiate and he pushes me off. I told him I want to try new things. And I said I am not happy with our sex life as it does not satisfy me and we have sex so seldom that it concerns me. He got so upset and started changing the subject. Saying that our lack of intimacy is due to the lack of trust and commitment we have in our relationship. He says that we do not trust each other as far as we can see each other and that is why our intimacy is lacking. In my opinion I think it is a load of bull. And then this morning he got in the shower with me and tried to initiate sex with me but I just was not in the mood as I feel he only did it because I am unhappy at the moment. He seems to think that all I care about is sex and I should rather concentrate on the bigger issue in our relationship. I just do not know what to do anymore. Any advise?
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Well, maybe it's something even if he did it because you are unhappy --- isn't that a bit more than before ? Why not ask him to join you in seeing a relationship counsellor ? If he says he thinks the problem is about trust, etc., well, he should surely agree to work on that with appropriate expert help ?
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