Ask an expert
Question

28 Jul 2010

Lack of intimacy
We are married for 20+ years and we''re quite content. However, during the past few years, my wife stopped initiating intimacy with me. It''s not that we don''t have great sex - on the contrary, I sometimes feel amazed at how raunchy she can be when we do. My issue is she stopped initiating sex or intimacy but this was not a problem in the past.
By intimacy, I mean my wife stopped kissing! I realised this a short while after she stopped and her response was that she became uncomfortable because of the bridge she had inserted in her teeth many years ago and she wanted to change it to implants. Many dental visits and many thousands later, she has the implants but kissing has not returned to our relationship.
I also mean that my wife never reaches out to me in a physical way but when I initiate foreplay or sex, she surprises me by how raunchy she can be.
I understand menopause and its related reduced sex drive - we are both age 50, and I understand the concept that women get to feel that they " enjoy going for a drive but can''t be bothered to pull the car out of the garage" .
We have both maintained our good health and fitness, so there are no physical reasons for this change. In recent years we''ve had romantic exotic holidays in Paris, Rome, Mauritius and we are content with the way that we live.
Is this lack of intimacy normal?
Answer 441 views
Expert
Sexologist
sexologist

01 Jan 0001

lack of intimacy is not normal! many times during menopause women actually have an increased sex drive. best advise: go to a marriage therapist. you are most certainly trying your best (romantic holidays; teeth implants etc) but to no avail. thus the only way you can change this would be through therapy whereby a professional can give expert advise.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.