Ask an expert
Question

23 Apr 2006

life
I am tired of working 16hrs a day 7 days per week. I bought myself a TV last week. I have millions in the bank, nett income from rental properties exceeding R0.5m per month and am worth over R100m.
I HATE THIS!! There is no pleasure just work work work and fight all the time. The pressure every day is immense. If I slack the whole system comes to a standstill. I have appointed people to help me but I am still under pressure. Last night I went out with a lady business associate and had sex. I had to drink Viagra before the time( because if you cannot get it up you are a freak) and I felt she just wanted to get it over as quickly as possible.She showed no sign of affection(holding me afterwards) I realised I do not even get pleasure from this.
Nothing gives me pleasure or joy. If I did not have a child I would have shot myself tenfold already.
I am caught in a cycle of anxiety fear and guilt. I am an ugly -|- up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Answer 395 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

OK. Well, you're definitely not "an ugly -|- up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!". Several thoughts come to mind. If you are really worth R 100 m, ans with such a high net income --- why do you need to continue working at all, let alone under such great pressure ? I wonder whether, to some extent, you keep working because it has become such a habit that you can't really think of anything else to do ? If you are still under such pressure after appointing others to relieve you of it, either they aren't doing their jobs properly, or you are not letting go. A man who occasionally can't get it up, especially when under great preseure and stress ( external or self-imposed ), is entirely normal. If you did not enjoy the sex, then it was at least the wrong time, place and person, at least on Saturday night. And if she was not apparently entirely into it, well, I wonder what her own situation is - she may be under a range of other pressures and anxieties, too, and no more able to relax and enjoy it than you were. Sex that is undertaken like an extreme sport, and which creates performances anxiety ( which spoils most mens erections ) isn't in itself worth it.
I wonder to what extent you may be depresed, chronically. One cardinal feature of Depression is what is technically called Anhedonia, a lack of pleasure in those things that usually bring us pleasure. The frustrating thing, from my side of the computer screen, is that you are describing an eminently treatable condition, and have no need to continue feeling like this --- but you'd have to admit the need for assistance, and see a good local shrink for advice.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.