Ask an expert
Question

24 Apr 2006

life
doc thanx for the response. I have been disillusioned.I understood from a young age that the husband provides and protects, the wife nurtures.
My ex did not bother holding me in bed or carressing me in a non sexual way.She never went the extra mile. I always had to spoil her and wanted her to be proud of me. We saw a marriage councillor and she went off against me so much so that he asked her if there is anything that I do that makes her happy. She critisized everything I did and never gave.She had and has no qualms putting me down.
I am 44 and have realised by now that people do not change.

By going to bed with this lady I expected some sort of foreplay(we have slept together 3 times previously) and also affection of some sorts. I feel I went out of my way and got nothing in return. This upset me. There are just too many people who treat me like crap. It gets to one and I cannot help but think that I am the idiot who p*****s people off.
I have reached the point where nothing makes sense. I cannot get myself to perform anymore. To get through the day is a fight by itself.There are no friends in my life.

I will go for counselling and get anti depressants.Hopefully I will be able to sort it out.
Answer 398 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

People can change, but they need to recognize a need for change, and be willing to make changes, and to work on that process --- it sounds as though your ex fitted none of those criteria. I am sure you can sort things out, with the right help --- you have the intelligence, and capability to do so very well, with the right help. It sounds as though in this sexual encounter with this lady, your needs were in some ways more like those many women have, and find themselves equally unfulfilled --- though the encounter is ostensibly sexual, it is often the case that one or often both of the individuals are in more need of affection and holding, than sex itself. And if one enters on such an encounter feeling discouraged, it can be further discouraging. Good luck in your excellent decision to get the right help -- do keep us in the picture as to how things go.
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
34% - 9270 votes
No
66% - 17924 votes
Vote