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04 Jul 2011

Little Sister
My little sister now 16, was 3 years old when our mom passed away. She hasnt really known any parent as my father started dating soon after my mom''s death. A couple of years ago, when she was just13 i found pictures of her private parts on her phone which she was sending to people on mxit.I confronted her about this telling her about the big bad world and how she should respect her body etc. When i asked her why she was doing it she started crying and telling me that she wants attention because none of her sisters love her and she doesnt have a mom.I told her that i love her and she said that i am so far (i live in another city) and she cant talk to me everyday. She has now dropped out of school, is involved with gangsters and really has given up on life. She has also started stealing. When asked why she says that she steals to live because no one buys her toiletries, and they have written her off at home so they dont even give her a plate of food to eat. Now she says that its better to come live with me because she will at least have the basics. What do i do, i am torn - My dad doesnt really care. Should i try giving her a new start with repurcussions if she does anything wrong. I just feel that she is so young to be making the wrong choices.
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Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Simply wanting attention and feeling unloved, is hardly a convincing explanation for sending pictures of one's genitals to strangers ( does she even understand that people she meets on Mixit ARE total strangers ? ) Does she really think that toiletries are so essential to remaining alive, that stealing them is justified ? She is indeed far too young to be making so many foolish and self-damaging decisions. IF you want her to come and stay with you for a while, it probably ought to be, as you suggest, with a clear, written-down set of rules and consequences for breaking them. And arrange, if you can, for her to see a counsellot, to sort out her apparently odd ideas about how life works, and the self-defeating way she seems to fel victimized and justified in doing things that are bad for herself and others
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