Ask an expert
Question

17 Feb 2009

Long Distancce relationship
My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years is moving to the UK next year for a 6 month contract. I am already having difficulty in coping with the fact that we will be doing long distance again (for 9 months he lived a few hours away and we only saw each other once a month) It was extremely difficult, and almost ended our relationsip, but we managed to work though it - the fact that we were at least able to see each other once a month and phone calls/Free minutes were possible

Now I am trying to face the fact that i will not be able to see him at all for 6 months, and even regular phone calls will be too expensive. On top of that the thought of not having him around for all the special occasions - birthdays anniversaries etc, and even the unimportant ones is really starting to get me down.

when i speak to him about it, he assures me everything will be fine and we survived for 9 months, so 6 will be easy. he sees my struggle with this as not having faith in our relationship

I am an independent person, I have my own friends and social life but there is definately a difference between being single and being in a long distance relationship. I spent 9 months crashing my friends dates, i dont know if i can do it again. most of my friends are in relationships and do that whole " stay at home on a friday night and watch movies"  thing. The few remaining single ones want to go out and party then entire night, getting drunk and hooking up with random strangers.

Am i being unreasonable? His opportunity to go overseas is a once in a life time, and i do support it, but I' m struggling to cope now and its only February! Unfortunately I am not able to go with him due to my job requirements. We trust each other, (for the most part) so thats not my issue, its everything else.
Answer 376 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

All relationships are difficult, and long-distance ones more so. Maybe try to rediscover the lost art of writing letters, either long-hand, the old way, or e-mail. It sounds as though he is more absorbed in his work during such absences, and thus less lonely than you seem to be. You can't join him because you, perfectly reasonably, value your own job committments, and vice versa. Does this HAVE to be an awful ordeal ? Is it clear this would be his last major absence, or are more possible ?
The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical examination, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.
Voting Booth
Have you entered our Health of the Nation survey?
Please select an option Oops! Something went wrong, please try again later.
Results
Yes
33% - 9320 votes
No
67% - 18604 votes
Vote