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Question

04 Apr 2007

LOOSING IT
GOOD DAY
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE! ME AND MY GIRLFRIEND HAVE BEEN DATING FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS NOW. SHE'S THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND I WILL MARRY HER SOMEDAY(WHEN I'M MORE FINANSIALLY SOUND). SHE'S BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT HEADACHE'S FOR ALMOST 4 YEARS. SHE'S GONE THROUGH A LOT OF TESTS. BUT THY SAY THERE IS NOTHING. SHE IS SICK ALL THE TIME.I MEAN SHE GETS SICK JUST WHEN STUFF GET A LITTLE BIT DIFFICULT AT WORK. SHE HAS GONE FROM WORK IN THE LAST TREE MONTHS 4 TIMES. WHEN WE GET TO THE DOCTER SHE LOOKS SICKER THAN BEFORE. SHE'S ALWAYS VERY "DOWN", ALWAYS COMLAINING ABOUT SOMETHING, PEOPLE, CIRCUMSTANCE WE FIND OURSELFS IN, ETC.
WHEN I JUST FEEL A LITTLE BIT UNDER THE WEATHER SHE TURNS SICK.I HAVE BEEN CHEERFUL TRIEING TO LIFT HER UP AND MOTIVATE HER, AND SOMETIMES IT WORKS AFTER I HAVE TRIED FOR ABOUT AN HOUR (OR LONGER). BUT I CAN NOT HAVE THAT 1 DOWN DAY THAT MOST PEOPLE HAVE NOW AND THEN. I AM STUDYING LAW AND IT'S NO JOKE DOING IT PART TIME(BECAUSE I HAVE A 7:30 - 16:00 JOB). I'M GETTING ERITATED WITH EVERYTHING. IT LOOKS AS IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO SOMETHING TO HELP HERSELF. AT THIS STAGE I AM CARRYING HER (MENTALY). WHAT CAN I DO TO GET HET TO HELP HERSELF, TO BE BETTER MOTIVATED, AND THEN NOT BEING DEAD SICK IF HER TROUGHT JUST A LITTLE BIT ITCHI, ETC.
PS:NO MEDICINES PLEASE( IF POSSIBLE)
Answer 342 views
Expert
CyberShrink
cybershrink

01 Jan 0001

Her "sick", like her complaints of headache, may be ways of evading difficulties at work or lsewhere in her life, and she would benefit from some realistic CBT style counselling to sort out this maladaptive pattern before it becomes too firm a habit. And when she gets "sick" it is HER task to cheer herself up and get out of it --- your hard efforts are rewarding her for being "sick" and discouraging her from being otherwise.
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